Eastern State Penitentiary

Dirty scandals erupt from undisclosed marmot informant.

On Thursday, February 2, 2012, the Group Tour offices of Eastern State Penitentiary received a stunning phone call from one undisclosed but very persistent marmot - or hibernating - member of the squirrel family…

The quadruped caller, much distressed, revealed that Punxsutawney Phil, the plush prognosticator of Pennsylvania, was not only a meteorological charlatan, but could have been part of an underground conspiracy leading up to the famed Clarence Klinedinst 1945 Tunnel Escape at Eastern State Penitentiary Historic Site!

The informant said he wouldn’t hibernate until Phil’s reputation was sufficiently soiled, revealing his stealthy and clandestine character and alleged “Klinedinstian” associations.

The small beast then unearthed the following:

• A fan of booze and the fast life, Phil, during the Prohibition, “threatened to impose sixty weeks of winter…if he wasn’t allowed to drink!”
• Before his celebrity gig, Phil worked in the business of excavation.
• Phil has been called a “whistling Pig.” With keen sight and keen hearing, Phil has developed a whistling code- so intricate it could be criminal- to alert underground cronies of detection or danger.
• Like the 1945 escapees, Phil has done time in “The Hole.

Do these shocking assertions hold water? Or are these the simple rants of a scorned mammal left in the shadows of his furry counterpart?

Either way, there are six more weeks of winter, but eight more weeks of Winter Adventure Tours at Eastern State!

Rosalie Lidard
Specialist, Group Tours and Administration